Bones + Cellulite

The one good thing about stress is it makes me skinny. Not in that attractive sort of way. More like a bones + cellulite kind of way. I can see my ribs and pelvic bone, but in between are cottage cheese like curdles. It is a somewhat disgusting body I see in the mirror, but I'm hoping a little suntan will mask the imperfections. I keep telling myself that Spring is a good time to be stressed, as bikini season is just around the corner.

On an up side, I can also fit into this really tight pair of capris that have never really fit right. The only problem is they are now the only pair of jeans that fit right, and they are, as I said before, capris. It is still freezing here in Michigan and so I am only wearing them around the house with tall socks, which in itself is not right either.

Oh, and if the cottage cheese analogy didn't just make you vomit a little...it did me. I decided yesterday that I needed to start exercising again. I went for a little jog. I lived to write this, so maybe I will try it again sometime.

P.S. The skinny jeans I once despised of are no longer a problem...

My Great Escape

I knew I needed an escape, I wanted to forget about all of life's problems and submerge myself in something so rapturing I wouldn't be reminded of my own worries.

I called my friend Tiffany (I will not hold it against her that she is "Team Jacob.") She owns all of the Twilight Series books by Stephenie Meyer and it was high time I borrowed them. Each one hundreds of pages long. If this worked I would have but one agenda for the coming weekend...

And it did.

In five days I had read the entire series. Amazing. I am through and through "Team Edward." I am as obsessed with Edward at age 30 as I was with Leo DiCaprio after the Titanic when I truly had the excuse of 'teenager.'

The selfless love that Edward has for Bella is so addicting in itself, it is no wonder every girl, woman, and man I have spoken to, who have previously read the books are as engrossed with the series as I am. And I was quite annoying as I called my friends and family at all hours of the day and night to gush about the books. (Sorry Thomas & Autumn.)

Here it is, day two without Bella, Edward, & Jacob, and I am having extreme withdrawals. My dreams, previously laced with my own nightmares have been replaced with those of vampires & werewolves, but I welcome them...This series was exactly what I had hoped for.

If you have not read them you are missing out. Get on it!

When I Grow Up...

I met with Isaac, my mentee, for the last time this past Tuesday. He and his family are moving to South Carolina in hopes of a better job market. I've been meeting with him once a week since November and he has become my new BFF. I enjoyed seeing him every week...I think he was more of a help to me than I was a mentor to him.

We both hated math but every week I would pull out the Spiderman multiplication cards and I would try and convince him how math was important and bribe him with McDonald's Happy Meals and Hershey bars when he passed a weekly multiplication quiz. He was never that motivated and I always wondered if he dreaded spending Tuesday's with me instead of going to lunch & recess with his friends.

But on our last encounter he surprised me, proved me wrong. He had been listening to me all along, remembering our conversations. Months ago I spent the entire visit explaining how math was so important and that every job he would ever do would require math. I proved my point as he told me he wanted to grow up to play video games, be a cop, a rock star, and anything else he could think of as he tried to stump me.

This past week, our last visit, he reminded me we had never finished the "Getting to Know Me" workbook we had started on our first meeting. We pulled it out and I started asking him questions from the Interest Inventory. "What do you want to be when you grow up?" I asked.

He shrugged so I answered. " When I grow up I want to be happy," I told him.

He instantly replied, "Hey, you don't need math for that!"

"Yeah I guess you're right Isaac." I'm gonna miss that kid.

I told him he needed to tell his new school in South Carolina that he had a mentor in Michigan and that they needed to get him an even cooler mentor than me. He told me that no one would be as cool as me. I cried on the way home.

Chicken Juice

I like those little mini-carts you can use at Meijer. Two tiered, compact, you can maneuver around the whole store so easy. I had set my purse on the bottom rack, and started putting all the stuff in the top one. By the time I got to the rotisserie chicken there wasn't much room left (and the chicken has to be your last stop) so I just set it on top of everything else and made my way to the checkout.

I didn't really fully comprehend what had happened until I was paying the cashier and I reached into the abyss I call my purse and my hand became wet, and warm, and smelly. Papers were drenched in a carmel colored liquid and the lining of my purse was all wet and gross. Chicken Juice. It had poured out of its little home and was drenching the contents in my opened purse. It was sick.

I hate that feeling. I knew that the things in my purse (my life) were swimming in a gravy base and all I could do was pay the lady and hurry home to dump out the contents.

The dog greeted me right away as she pressed her nose into my purse. The entire handbag at this point smelled like dinner. As Lola was enjoying herself I began to assess the damage.

I dumped everything out and wiped down what I could. I pulled out another purse I was saving for spring (it just looks like spring) but decided I was no longer waiting for spring to arrive before using it. Desperate measures people, I wouldn't typically walk around late winter with a spring purse!

Transfer of purse belongings was a success...and then I had to try and figure out how to clean the lining of my juiced purse. I didn't think I could put it in the washing machine without destroying it so I pulled out the lining the best I could and soaked it in detergent water while trying to keep the exterior of the purse dry...The verdict isn't in yet. After one soak and rinse the purse still arouses the dog. I think it will need another go around.

Moral of the Story: Don't set you purse underneath a rotisserie chicken!